Of course: you can go on weekends every month or test sex toys to ensure the longevity of your relationship. You can also practice “ micro-infidelity, ” a way of being gently unfaithful that, on paper, doesn't hurt anyone. Explanations.
What is micro-infidelity?
The micro-infidelity, also known as "micro-cheating" is a concept highlighted by Australian coach Melanie Schilling in 2017 in an article published on the Huffington Post .
Concretely ? As the name suggests (almost), it's about being unfaithful ... but a little bit. Be careful, being “ a little bit unfaithful ” does not mean being unfaithful every ten years, but flirting softly (and without sleeping) with another or another when we feel like it.
In short, when you wiggle your eyelashes in front of a young man, smirk at the butcher's or exchange ambiguous text messages with your boss, you are micro-unfaithful. And micro-infidelity isn't bad for the couple. Quite the contrary. 3 good reasons to get started.
Micro-infidelity is a nice thing
Is kissing cheating? Is sucking cheating? The debate is not new. Where micro-cheating makes everyone agree is that when you're micro-cheating, you don't suck (in principle). Rather, micro-infidelity is defined as a series of minor acts that prove to us that we are, at some point, desirable beings outside of our history.
Anaïs, 35, pharmacist, agrees: “ Every time I leave the physiotherapist, I take four hours to land. Her hands on my shoulders make me shiver, we have exciting conversations ... I'm just enjoying a harmless parenthesis that helps me feel pretty and interesting ... and I love it! ”
Micro-cheating is infidelity without the guilt
When you are micro-unfaithful, you stay in your place even if you dream of it elsewhere. We fantasize without taking action or guilt. In short: the win-win situation. “ We are evolved beings”, recalls the coach Nathalie Lefèvre , author of Célibataire en couple (ed. Larousse), a work which recalls that the development of love requires keeping one's “ secret garden ”. “We can be attracted to a lot of people without necessarily wanting to sleep with them or go further ”.
And to add: “ If we sacrifice things that are important or pleasant for us, we then make others pay for it, as if they were responsible ”.
Result ? “I cheated on my guys for a long time. It ended in tears and always bad ”, says Emily, publicist . “ Then I realized that what I liked about infidelity was not so much the sex, but just the possibility of something else. The freedom to imagine myself in another more fun, lighter life, and rediscover the emotions of my beginnings… Especially when my daily life and my boyfriend (whom I adore) swell me… ”
Latest micro infidelity to date? “ I make my MILF with one of my clients younger than me, super sexy and powerful, made up of a sublime influencer… But to whom I obviously have a lot of effect! It wouldn't help to sleep together (I would lose him as a client) but I love to read his desire and receive his ambiguous texts. I go to the hairdresser and buy myself a new outfit before each meeting with him. A real kid. But it does a lot of good for the ego… ”
Micro-infidelity is good for the couple
Do you blame yourself for dreaming a more exciting life with this sexy and dreamy musician who hit on you during a weekend of friends?
No need to feel guilty about being seduced by an interesting, funny and sexy new person. On the contrary: “ We put infidelity or micro-infidelity on the same level as our love story, but it is far from being comparable ”, adds coach Nathalie Lefèvre.
“I admit… I shoveled a sublime Dane whose name I don't know in a bar during my last weekend in Copenhagen with my best friend. But nothing more. It did me a lot of good and I came home radiant. We made love like never before the following week with my husband ”, laughs Linda!
The important thing, then? Do yourself good. For some: it will be relaxing in yoga to come home smiling, or going to a festival that they will be told with passion. For others: flirt with the new kid in the office to feel beautiful, sexy and stylish. And come back more powerful and desirable than ever in the evening in the arms of his real boyfriend (or girl) ... Hence the interest, when a game of seduction arises, to take out his pawns, since the beneficiary, behind, it's the couple. And an explosive sex life. CQFD.