Quantcast

A small guide of survival at the office

Galerie Anne Sarah Benichou

How is your chouquette? If your boss is also the type who manages his teams by purchasing industrial quantities of sweet pastry puffs for the morning meeting (making you even forget lunch), you will adore laughing about the absurdity of certain rites taking place at the office. In his work, Le syndrome de la chouquette ou la tyrannie sucrée de la vie de bureau, journalist Nicolas Santolaria scans with wonderful humour all the new so called « cool » habits of companies. We have selected three examples that will make you perceive the long hours at work with a new outlook.

To understand your company, take the elevator

If you work in a building with an elevator, you know that this closed enclave (which, let’s not forget, remains the least mortal means of transport in the world), is the theatre of a forced promiscuity with people that you don’t necessarily want to run into. The interminable wait and the heavy silence that exists in this temple of plain « hellos » and « good byes » are for the author of the Syndrome de la chouquette, totally revealing in terms of company absurdity: « the daily life of an office is nothing more than an immobile and interminable voyage by elevator, to which has been added a dramaturgy in order to pass time. » The elevator is also the best place to observe with attention your colleagues and get a discrete eyeful of the boss’s unibrow or the spot of wine on the shirt of his assistant. It would be too bad to take the stairs.

Scribbling during a meeting, you are an artist

You cannot stop your hand from drawing hearts, stars or dresses during interminable meetings? Continue! Better than the smartphone and Candycrush which might be perceived as an offense to authority, your spiral notebook contributes to giving you the allure of a model employee. Raise your eyes from time to time, nod your head and frown your eyebrows, then go back to your business and scribble happily, people will think your notes are perfectly complete. Thus, « you experiment a sort of graphic immediacy which has become very rare today (…) linking you to your true creative dimension in an environment that tends to deny it. » Why continue drawing? Because a TNS Sofres Survey affirms that the percentage of employees who have the feeling they are wasting their time amounts to … 74% !

To be credible, use English terms

If you try to translate into French vocabulary borrowed from the English language, often used by your colleagues, you will come across looking like a grandmother. Now in the world of open space offices, expressions such as ‘brainstorming’ have become run of the mill. But people tend to overdo it and use others such as ‘free sitting’ to present their ‘reporting’ in order to avoid ‘hot-desking’ or ‘blurring’….

syndrome chouquette

Le syndrome de la chouquette ou la tyrannie sucrée de la vie de bureau, Nicolas Santolaria, Anamosa, €14.90

Also discover, The new bibles of feminism.

Read this next

The week of Do It

Santorin

Santorini: the Cyclades at 3:20 from Paris

apicius

The coolest cocktails garden in Paris

Rochechouard Rooftop

How about being locked up inside the Hôtel Rochechouart?

Tartes Emilie Franzo

The secrets of good, easy pies by Emilie Franzo

Boutiques Mode

Fashion: the 3 new favorite boutiques of Parisians

energizer

The green and chill event not to be missed

bistrots-paris

THE BEST PARISIAN BISTROS

Hotel Paradiso Rooftop

Hotel Paradiso: MK2 opens a secret cinema

Comptoir Ritz

Le Comptoir du Ritz, the Parisian coffee-shop by François Perret

Laia

Laia, a new restaurant in the secret garden of the 11th

Instituts De Beaute

The new beauty rendezvous in Paris

Debongout Deco

Debongout: the decorative boudoir for vintage addicts

les-meilleurs-brunchs

7 new brunches on the terrace

Fake News

Fake News: the exhibition that deciphers a real social phenomenon at the EDF Foundation

Musee Carnavalet

Carnavalet: the reopening of the favorite museum of Parisians in the Marais

expo-casa-del-papel

PARTAKE IN A HEIST AT LA MONNAIE DE PARIS IN LA CASA DE PAPEL MODE

sir-winston-churchill

THE VERY CHIC PUB EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT

Tiramisu Francois Regis Gaudry

The secret of tiramisu by François-Régis Gaudry

Forest

Forest: Julien Sebbag's new terrace that everyone is talking about

Bambini

Bambini: the new trendy Italian of Paris Society at the Palais de Tokyo

Bermuda

8 ways to wear Bermuda shorts

Les Heritieres

Les Héritières: the social fresco that makes the buzz on Arte

Raymonde Paris

Raymonde: the new boutique that mixes vintage and young designers in the 18th arrondissement

Omelette Petit Cambodge

How to make the delicious Petit Cambodge omelet?

The Father

What is The Father, the film by Florian Zeller which won 2 Oscars?

Cures Detox

Slimming: the 3 detox cures to test dare-dare

Poke Bowl Mexicain

The little dish that will make you love glamping

Accor Chic Frenchcation

7 stylish getaways for a change of scenery

Femme A La Fenetre

Oxygen: the new sifi with Mélanie Laurent on Netflix

Hot topics